Wednesday, 18 February 2015

50 Shades Of STOP.

If this post could be a page full of ‘UGHHH’ then that's what it would be.
I’ve been very frustrated with this whole ’50 shades’ business, or travesty, whichever you see it as.
E.L.James, the author of the 50 Shades book franchise has done what absolutely no one thought could happen, and that's make the Twilight films look like an actual love story. No, really. I had a debate with housemates and friends (all guys) who’ve said upon watching Twilight, it’s actually an alright film compared to what they’ve heard/read and seen of 50 shades of grey, and I completely agree with them.
Now, it’s all well and good me sat behind a screen, going off others opinions since I haven't seen the film…but here’s why…because I read ALL THREE of the books, and they were terrible. The first one was a repeated story of a guy that becomes obsessed with an innocent lip biting every 3 pages student whom he grooms with a car, laptop, phone and gym membership with a bossy attitude and a cold hearted “Don’t touch me or I’ll get angry at you” attitude that quite frankly, no one really wants in their lives.
Because the franchise became so popular for no damn reason? I carried on reading, hoping for something good. A scene that I could put my glasses on top of and appreciate as a good piece of writing even for just 10 seconds, but nothing. I mean, okay by the end of the second book there’s actually kind of a plot and somewhat story line to where this is all going rather than “Oooh Mr Grey lets email and have missionary sex in different rooms for 400 pages” “Okay but make sure you give me permission with paperwork first since I’m a business man not a pleasure man” The third book actually improved, especially with its writing but it’s still pretty damn awful, just less ‘room of pain’ and more of a moving flowing story.
BUT, I hear the author would barely let anything be changed for the film adaption, even the writing, thus…refusing to pay £20 with someone to go see what I can only imagine I’ll end up walking out of.
Now, I’m not really a Feminist, in fact I’m probably far from it. I believe in equality of sexes but none of this women should overpower men thing. I’m not one of those people who accuses the film of it being rape with consent. The whole BDSM lifestyle is for both men and women, there are male and female dominatrix’s out there, there’s no reason for it to become a sexist thing, but the way it’s written and most likely shown? There’s no wonder the ‘feminazi’s’ are going nuts about it.
Truth be told, I think the book could be great, if it was written well. I think the movies with the right actors and directors yada yada…could be pretty intense. Instead I see a book which everyone I know who read it said it was a flop, and thus me getting angry towards those who STILL went to see it, to then come out and say “Waste of time, waste of money”. It angers me.
Truthfully, why would you go to the cinema to watch softened down porn for £20 without all the exciting bits? Surely watching 50 shades is like watching the bits you would usually skip right? C’mon now…there’s no harm or shame in watching porn, and the wonderful thing about it? It’s FREE and includes all the fun bits.
Not to mention the entire 50 shades sex pieces are essentially foreplay and missionary sex, just in different rooms on different things, so WHY can people walk into the cinema with no shame to see a film adaption of a book that is known for mostly sex and the odd bit of BDSM, but be too afraid to admit they watch porn? Especially with women. Why should a women have to feel ashamed to watch porn? Why should she feel the need to read it or go to the cinema with girlfriends to admit they like sex, they like porn. They shouldn’t, right? Men don’t care if we watch porn. I just don’t understand the need to watch something so ‘vanilla’ and awful for so much when I could have a better night with snacks and my boyfriend.
Too much? Too far?
50 Shades Of Stop Justifying That Book/Film.
50 Shades Of Because You All Went To See It They’re Going To Make Another, Great.

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