Thursday, 10 September 2015

Crying Over Puppies.

Probably one of the more personal posts I'll allow myself to put on something so easy to find! But I cried today over puppies!

Okay, so I know that sounds girly, ridiculously girly and stereotypical "OHMYGODPUPPIES" followed by some sort of crying emoji kind of thing girly.

But it was more of a personal reason today from deep within the memories part of my brain that I think of all the time from fondness yet get nostalgic about.

I grew up with a German Shepard/Alsatian named Maxx, he was my childhood dog and I loved him.

I grew up in what I can only really describe as a zoo.
I had rabbits, snakes, rats, cats, ferritts, parakeets. The only house pets I haven't owned really are spiders, lizards and guinea pigs. Although I'm not too arsed about any of them other than lizards. Dogs have always been around my family though. My childhood dog Maxx was given to my mum by my dad, but when they moved and couldn't have a pet anymore he went to my nans, which was fine because I visited every weekend.

Maxx was my everything. My fondest memories of him are the ones of me just arriving at my nans, clicking open the gate and seeing his face pop up at the window and hearing him bark like crazy because he knew I was coming in. I would step into the porch and peer through the clear glass shouting "COOO-EE" he would go nuts running back and forth and barge his head through the door in excitement as my nan would try to open it just to get to me.

My nan had a pantry which had all her food in including the dog treats and his lead for walks, the second the pantry door opened which was impossible to do in silence he was sat beside me waiting knowing that if I was getting a was he. A rattle of his dog chain he'd whimper and wag his tail and it'd be 'WALKIES' and I'd get jumped on in yet again over excitement. He was the kindest dog and pretty much my best friend.

When I was 17 years old Maxx passed away. He was 16 years old himself which is incredible for a German Shepard/Alsation. I got a phone call from my nan saying something was wrong and that he couldn't stand up. My nan usually worried a bit too much about everything but I went around anyway, unfortunately this time I knew something was awful and got him out of the room because I knew my nan would be devastated to watch what I had to watch, which was my best friend dying in my arms.

I know, critics will say 'he was just a dog'. Yet he really was an incredible companion.
I can't remember what happened exactly, whether it was a heart attack or anything, but he lay next to me as I cupped water in my hands and tried to keep him hydrated. He got took to the vets and put down.

Last year when I moved to Manchester I 100% had the intention of bringing my cats with me, which I will when I get my own place, but I'm so desperate for a puppy. I've always grown up with animals and I adore cats and dogs, now I feel super lost without having either around. I love the company, I keep to myself and only have a select few friends and most of them are practically family! I don't really do nights out mostly days out going for hikes and walks now. The rest of the time I'm at home alone, I've always had a friend in the form of an animal to come home to and the hugging a furry pillow just doesn't really cut it! Theres just something about having an animal for companionship that I'm missing from my life at the moment and it's making me so sad and think back to memories of Max. 

Man I miss that dog.